I just got off the phone with a woman from Amy's employer's HR department. Normally I don't take calls for Amy, but when I tried to take a message, the woman started telling me details and specifics so I ended up talking to her about the whole situation. And she was awesome.
Amy can get off the insurance at her employer. Apparently the man Amy talked to before didn't know that same-sex partnerships do qualify to get off insurance, as long as the employee is starting on another insurance.
Here's a few little paraphrased snippets of the conversation:
HR: "So this is her husband, right? Is he wanting to get on her insurance or is she wanting to get on his?"
Me: "Actually it's a domestic partnership. She's going to be starting on my employer's insurance tomorrow."
HR: "OK well she has 30 days from the date of the event."
Me: "Is the event the domestic partnership or the date of benefits starting?"
HR: "Is this a common law or same-sex partnership?"
HR: "Hmmm. That's a really good question. Since federal law does not recognize same-sex partnerships and unfortunately we follow federal law, I believe it's the date of the start of the new benefits."
The whole conversation was awesome, the woman was friendly, informative, admitted when she didn't know an answer to something (and found the answer), and even said, "Tell her congratulations!"