Sunday, October 25, 2009

Surgery Went Well!

Amy's surgery went well. She was back home a little over 48 hours after her procedure, which was suprising but seemed timely. I'm not gonna update much, but I will say that I am incredibly grateful for all the love, prayers, and support from everyone over the past few weeks!

For more info on Amy's surgery, visit

Monday, October 19, 2009

Clarification of our Domestic Partnership

Hello Everyone,

This post is just to clarify why we haven't told most people of our domestic partnership, and our plans for the future.

Amy and I got our domestic partnership certificate at Denver's municipal building on August 18, 2009. We also plan on getting married at some point in the next year or so but no date has been set and our engagement is not "official" at this time, even though our relationship holds the same values and commitment as a marriage.

In the state of Colorado, opposite-sex couples are considered married (common law) if they have been living with each other for a year and if they share finances. Same-sex couples are not afforded this benefit, and instead must register as domestic partners, which, in Colorado, has no legal standing other than to obtain benefits through an employer (along with extra taxes) if that employer offers same-sex domestic partner benefits.

After we had been living together for a year, and since we share finances, we considered trying to register for a common-law marriage, and realized it would be too stressful (and fruitless). We also realized that it was pointless to pay $25 to become official domestic partners when neither of us were in a position to put the other on our respective health insurances (Amy's employer did not offer same-sex partner benefits, and I wasn't a benefitted employee at the time). Therefore, we didn't take any action.

When I ended up getting moved into a permanent position at my current employer (that offers same-sex partner benefits), then we decided to go and obtain a domestic partnership certificate, because at this point we were in a position where it was actually needed. Thus, we became domestic partners.

At this point, it was the best thing we could have done. Since Amy lost her job (and would have lost her benefits had she not been under my insurance), she would not have been able to receive the testing needed to find the tumor on her head. Instead, she is so fortunate to have insurance and is able to have the procedure she needs to have to remove her tumor and repair her skull while only having to pay a copay.

So. Thank you all for your well wishes and congrats about our domestic partnership. When we're officially engaged, we'll let you know!

Monday, October 12, 2009

Good News

Amy has a job! It's not full time or anything, but we can breathe a little easier. Amy had a second job last holiday season and she is starting work back there tomorrow! And since her manager is awesome and actually treats her employees like human beings (instead of robots like they do at Dish Network), she'll most likely be really understanding and flexible with all the medical stuff that's coming up in the near future.

I said it before, and I'll say it again: Congratulations Amy!

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Job Loss, Tumor, and Everything in Between...

This past week has been nothing short of overwhelming. On Saturday, Amy was given the choice of either being fired or resigning from her job at Dish Network. They refused to honor a doctor's note excusing her from two weeks of work (after she had already missed the two weeks of work), wanted her to make up the 92 hours of work she missed (40 hours/week of regular work plus 6 hours of weekly mandatory overtime), and all because she was one month shy of her year needed to be eligible for FMLA (since Dish doesn't give their employees sick time). She already knew Dish treated their employees horribly, but this was just unreal. And I'm panicking about paying the bills.

However, Amy losing her job was somewhat of a blessing in disguise. Since the job pretty much made her miserable, losing this job was the extra nudge she needed to be more motivated (and have the extra time) to find one at which she could thrive. Plus she now has more time to go to the doctor and such.

And go to the doctor she will. On Thursday, she found out that she has a tumor on her head. Here's the background in her own words. If you don't feel like clicking just yet, here's my watered-down version: about 2 and a half years ago Amy noticed a bump on the side of her head that was squishy. 2 chiropractors told her it was probably nothing to worry about - just a bruise or fat, but nothing to worry about. She's also told a few doctors about it, but they said it was nothing to worry about. When she switched to a new PCP, that PCP sent her to get a CT scan without contrast, which was this past Thursday. The tech came out afterward with that look and asked if Amy was willing to get one with contrast. That's never a good sign. The radiologist (and the tech I'm sure) saw something (duh?). Amy's doc called and left a message before we could get home, and said that it was a tumor, that it's probably benign (don't they always say that though?), and that she needed to talk to a neurologist.

SO. . . Wednesday we'll go to see the neurologist. Amy talked to her doc again, and she's definitely gonna have to have surgery to remove the 1" x 1" x 1.5" tumor. Seems like it's gonna be a long 3 days before we go see the neurologist. Blah.

In light of all this, I'm incredibly grateful for all the support from our friends and families we both have. I think the most shocking and comforting for me was the support from my manager at work. When I went in to tell her that this was all going on, she said to let her know if and when I needed to take off (for whole shifts or just an hour or so) for any appointments or procedures or anything, because "family is very important." I'm really grateful I have a manager who gets it and is flexible.'s been a week. A long one. I'm scared, worried, thinking, avoiding temptation to look up Amy's images on the computers at work, thinking some more, etc. I'm also grateful that Amy could get on my insurance so she wouldn't have had to worry about that through this process. And I am tired.

If you want to follow Amy's blog on this process, go to